Broken
by chooky
Summary: Alt Universe. As tradedy forces change, Sydney meets her new handler. Will she be able to cope? SV eventually. Updated!CHAPTER 7 is up.
1. hourglass chp1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything Alias related nor do I know anyone connected with the show.

A/N: this is my first fanfic. It is sort of A/U. Since I haven't seen season 3 spoilers will only be up till the end of season 2.

The story starts after "counteragent", but the Syd/Vaughn relationship progressed up to where it was in "phase 1" (just speeding things up). SD-6 still exist and there will be no evil Franchie. Hopefully things will get clearer as the story progresses.

HourGlass

The lobby was busy, with people going about their business, except - without the noisiness that one would expect. But then this was Langley, the CIA Head Quarters, and in this line of work nothing is what you would expect.

Having just cleared security, Sydney made her way across the marble flooring and entered the half filled lift, pressed level 7 for Kendall's office. There had been a message left for her to meet Kendall in his office. Right now, seeing Kendall was the last thing Sydney wanted to do.

Their first meeting was about a year ago, when she was being suspected as the subject of the Rambaldi Prophecy. He was unapologetically arrogant, unsympathetic and self assured. He asked questions that he had already had answers for and made comments that just fell short of accusing her of knowing all along that SD-6 was a branch of the Alliance – an enemy of the United States.

They met again when her mother Irina Derevko turned herself into the CIA. Even though this time they were working on the same side, it always felt like she had to prove herself loyal. He even had the nerve to tell her to talk to her mother, someone she thought had died over 20 years ago, who it turns out was a KGB agent sent to marry a CIA officer and steal intelligence, who executed a dozen CIA agents and someone who nearly killed her in Taipei.

They say first impressions count; hers was spot on for Kendall.

The lift bell chimed and the doors opened for her to step out. Kendall's office was on the left, at the end of the hallway. The walls were painted institutional white, and the floor was carpeted grey.

As Sydney made her way down the hall, she saw that someone had just entered Kendall's office and was closing the door behind them.

Kendall was standing behind his desk flipping through a file, he looked up from the file as she entered. "Good morning Agent Bristow," he said, to which she gave no reply. He closed the file and tossed it on the desk. "Lets get started then" he said and seated himself behind his desk, gesturing her to seat herself as well. She complied and sat down facing him on the left.

"I'd like you to meet Agent Paul Gibbs" said Kendall, indicating to a man, she presumed was the person she saw entering just before her, sitting on her right. "he's a missions planner and IT consultant."

Agent Gibbs was in a dark blue suit, light blue shirt and no tie. He looked like he was in his mid thirties. He worn small frameless glasses, his short brown hair was uncombed and he sported a 5-day stubble.

Agent Gibbs didn't offer a handshake, but just gave Sydney a polite nod and small "hi", to which she similarly returned. Then they both turned their attentions back to Kendall.

"Paul here, will take over as your handler and th..." started Kendall before he was abruptly cut off.

"What?!" Sydney and Paul exclaimed together.

Kendall had expected this from both of them so he just sat there stony faced.

With her best efforts to contain the anger that was quickly rising within her, Sydney looked Kendall straight in the eye and said an even tone "I don't _need_ a handler".

"and I don't _want_ to be a handler" interjected Paul, who was also trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Agent Bristow, I don't need to remind you that essential to your role as a double agent in SD-6, you cannot let anything that happens here with the CIA affect your performance at SD-6," said Kendall using his authoritative tone.

"No...I don't need to be told how to do my job" came her reply.

"Look, I can understand how you're feeling Agen..." began Kendall.

"No," cutting him off, "you cannot possibility have any idea how I'm feeling", swallowing hard Sydney pressed on, "Agent Vaughn died just a weeks ago, and I have to breathe the same air and sit quietly across the table from the man that's responsible for his death," "so do me a favour and don't tell me that you understand how I feel."

"Well then let me tell you this, if you don't accept a handler then you will be put into witness protection, effective immediately. I'm not about to let a grieving and vengeful agent go on SD-6 missions without counter-missions and support." said Kendall. "witness protection won't help you destroy SD-6 or get justice for Vaughn and Danny"

Sydney could hardly believe what she was hearing, he was using her guilt to blackmail her. She felt numb, a common state for her this past week, and sat there speechless.

Putting his hand up to stop Paul from interrupting, Kendall went on, "Paul, I chose you as Sydney's handler because of, amongst other things, your expertise with the hourglass security system. You look tired, late nights?"

Kendall picked up the folder that he had been looking at before "here's Bristow's file".

Ignoring the offered folder, Paul stood up and said with a blank expression "I'm sure that Agent Bristow will inform me of what she thinks I should know about her."

Then turning to Sydney, he said "just leave the details of your mission with Julie down at Operations and I'll contact you about your counter-mission", and with that he left the room.

"Good luck," offered Kendall, before Sydney also stood up and left for SD-6.

...............................

Going back to SD-6 this time was harder than after Danny's death. This time she couldn't even go to his funeral. This time she didn't have 3 months to mourn before facing Sloane. This time she had shed no tears.

Only Dixon asked if something was wrong. She had dismissed his concern with something about having the flu.

Sloane stood at the head of the conference room and started his mission debrief, "Leading up to the year 2000, there was much talk and concern about the Y2K bug. Since all built in clocks for computers and electronic devices recorded the year only by the last 2 digits. There was a fear that when it clocked over from '99' to '00' there would be mass machine malfunction in homes, hospitals, our defence system etc. But 2000 came like any other year, with none of the dooms day predictions. This was only because the problem was corrected by all manufacturers and corporations, which depended on time on their computers to operate, well before we entered the new millennium." He paused and pressed the remote, and a picture appeared on all the computer screens. "His name is, Christopher Nolin, he is the CEO of NovaTech. We have been informed that this company has just developed what they call 'hourglass', software that can produce what didn't happen in 2000." Walking over, Sloan handed Dixon and Sydney their operation materials, "So Sydney, you'll be going as Rachael Whitman, a representative for a finance firm interested in investing. We need to get a copy of this software so we can develop a counter measure against it being used as a terrorist attack."

"Marshall..." said Sloane, before sitting down.

"Hi, well how's everyone today? Good? That's Good..." stuttered Marshall as he fished something out of his pocket

TBC.............................please review.

Next chapter will be up soon depending on how much time I have. Also I don't have a beta yet, anyone willing to help???


	2. hourglass chp2

Special thanks to Melanie (sweetsouthernbell07) for her wonderful betaing, and suggestions. As well as many thanks to all the reviewers, it was so cool to get the reviews and made me write this chapter quicker. All your questions are answered at the end. So I hope you enjoy....

Marshall finally got the thing out of his jacket, "This..." excitedly showing it to everyone, "...looks like a normal highlighter...something that you'd use to...to highlight some important date in your diary or..."

But instead, Marshall was holding up a diet energy bar, "...oops". Turning red he shoved it quickly back into his pocket and got the highlighter that he had intended to talk about, and fumbled on with his explanation.

Usually, something like this would have made Sydney smile. Marshall was one of the sweetest guys that she knew, he was this quirky genius that came up with the most amazing and sometimes crazy gadgets for her to use on missions. But now, she just wanted him to quickly give her the things she needed, so she wouldn't have to spend any more time in the presence of Sloane and Sark.

Vaughn, due to being exposed to the liquid inside the red Rambaldi ball in Taipei, had been infected with a deadly virus. Sydney had tried to get the antidote that would save him, but in her attempt she was caught by Sark, who in his usual charm, told her to deliver Sloane so that he could kill him, in exchange for the antidote.

As much as Sydney hated Sloane and wanted to take down SD-6, premeditating his murder was not a goal. There were so many issues with killing Sloane; the most obvious was how to kill him without exposing herself as a double agent. Secondly, through her father's close relationship with Sloane, he was privy to highly classified intel on the inner workings of the Alliance, hence Sloane's death would be a setback in the task of destroying SD-6 and the Alliance.

For Sydney, despite these moral and tactical problems, the choice was simple. She was willing to risk everything for Vaughn.

Love wasn't blind.

It was irrational. It was cruel. It was all she had left and time had snatched it from her.

She had trusted a snake, and was rewarded a venomous bite in heart. Whilst her world drifted into darkness, Sark had, instead of killing Sloane, made a deal with him that strengthened the columns of SD-6.

All this drifted through Sydney's mind as she left SD-6 after the meeting and made a dead drop into the Vietnam Vet's offering cup, detailing her mission for her new handler Gibbs, to come up with a counter mission.

"Hey Syd, your back early from work," greeted Francie, from the kitchen. There was a sweet aroma in the apartment, and Sydney could see Francie using a wooden spoon to protect whatever that she was cooking from Will's sneaky fingers.

"Yeah, I'm just going to clean up, then pack for my trip to Vancouver," said Sydney, as she set her keys down. "Isn't the kitchen at your restaurant bigger than this one?"

"It is, but there's a leak somewhere so it's more like a swimming pool than a kitchen," said Francie, turning away from the stove, but keeping a watchful eye on Will. "With the amount of travel you do girl, you should have enough flyer's points to travel all around the world".

"But the world is never as good as home," replied Sydney quietly, before going to her bedroom to change.

"Does Sydney seem down to you lately?" Francie asked Will after she heard the bedroom door close, "She seems distant and quiet. Has she said anything to you?"

"Um, no, she's probably just tired from work," said Will, trying to ease Francie's worry. He knew about what happened to Vaughn, and wanted to be there for Sydney, but she had emotionally shut down and asked to be left alone. He hadn't even seen her cry this time. What do you say to someone who has lost so much?

Unconvinced, Francie asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, what else could it be?" replied Will.

"Maybe it's about that guy she told me she liked from work, maybe something happened," suggested Francie.

_You have no idea how right you are Francie_, thought Will, but he just said "Nah, if there was something wrong she'd tell us," and left the kitchen to avoid further discussion, taking a drink for Sydney with him.

Knocking, Will entered the bedroom and handed Sydney the drink, "Thanks".

"No problems...do you need help with anything? Do you want help with the packing?" He offered.

"No, I've got it," she replied.

He knew that she'd just tell him to leave her alone, but he couldn't stand seeing her like this, "You know it's okay to let it out... go get drunk, or just smash a few things."

Sydney stopped packing her bag and looked up, and retorted, "And what good will that do?"

"I know it won't bring him back, but it'll make you feel better, you're going to go insane if you keep up like this," said Will, keeping his voice down, because Francie was still in the kitchen.

"I don't want to _feel_ anything. I just want to concentrate on what I have do, because if I stop and think about anything, they'll win. Not thinking about it is the only way I can keep going, so please Will..." pleaded Sydney.

He didn't want to push her, or make it worst than it already was for her so he just said, "Okay, but...be careful."

It was an hour before she had to catch her flight, and there had been no word from Gibbs, her father or anyone about her counter mission. She tried to keep calm, as she waited in her car for the call. Usually she would just wait at home, but she didn't feel like putting on a happy act for her friends so she sat in her car with the window rolled down to let in the non-existent breeze.

Finally her beeper went off, so she drove to the empty warehouse that she and Vaughn had used for their meetings. She had dreaded this meeting with Gibbs all day, but it had been unnecessary, because he wasn't there.

There was nobody there, she slid the wire gate open and found a small jewelry box, a mobile phone and MP3 player. There was no note, she assumed that there would be instructions recorded on the MP3 player, and so Sydney shoved all of it into her brief case and speeded to the airport.

Slowly catching her breath, Sydney flopped into the window seat. She had had to sprint into the terminal as the last boarding call was made for her flight. There had better be good reason for making her risking her life on the freeway and run in these damn shoes!

Reluctantly taking out the MP3 player, she put on the earphones and pressed play.

Gibbs' voice came through clearly "The earrings are transmitters so switch it on when you're ready to talk to us..."

'_Nahhh!? What I'm I going to do? Switch it on and swallow it so everyone at base-op, especially Kendall, can hear how he makes my stomach turn?_' She thought, as Gibbs' voice continued to give its instructions.

"...the hourglass program works much like the name suggests, once flipped the time will run down like a ticking bomb. Only this time, there are no blue-white wires to cut to freeze the time at 2 seconds, leaving everyone cheering with relief. Only continuous flipping with stop all the sand from reaching the bottom. But the program is designed to be flipped once and any tampering will break the hourglass, bringing about the same end result as leaving it alone." Gibbs' voice paused for a breath.

"Marshall has already told you that the program works, in non-technical sense, by stopping the internal clock and set it back to 0, bypassing the changes done in anticipation of 2000. The reason that this program is potentially disastrous is that it could wipe out all computer networks, telecommunication systems and even satellites, and we don't know how it's spread or activated to create counter-measures. Now wh..." there was background noise and Gibbs' voice stopped.

Sydney heard the recording stopped, but then it restarted and his voice started again, "um...once you get the pass the security system and retrieve the disc, remove the backing of the mobile phone, there should be a disc in there already, place your disc in the empty slot and press the call button. The disc will be duplicated, once the information is copied, take out the original, and press the end call button, this will corrupt the disc that you'll be giving SD-6. Also, I checked what Marshall had said and yes make sure that don't break the laser grid circuit or the disc will be destroyed and the information on it will be transfer to NovaTech's other facilities. That's it. Just delete this message and bring the MP3 player back." And the message ended.

Removing the earphones, Sydney deleted the recording and stared out the plane's window, lost in thought, for the rest of the flight.

Appropriate for the Canadian weather, Sydney wore a cream coat over a red turtle-neck and dark pants, and white gloves over her hands. She didn't wear a wig this time, but had twisted her hair into a bundle clipping it neatly behind her head. She also had on thin white brimmed glasses and carried a small white handbag to complete the business look. "Dixon, how are we doing?" Sydney said under her breath, as she waited for the lift.

"I've just hacked into their surveillance system, and looped the feed" answered Dixon from a van parked outside. "Okay, I can see you from the cameras in the lift, but it's empty from their view".

Christopher Nolin's office, if you call it that, reflected his wealth as well as his bad taste. He had a 180-degree view of the city; the floor was covered in fluffy thick white carpet, various large pieces of artwork huge on the white walls. In the centre was his semi-circular desk and two large bright red leather chairs.

Putting on a fake smile Sydney entered through the glass doors, and had difficulty keeping her balance as her pointy heels sunk into the soft carpet. "Rachelle Whitman, thank you for agreeing to see me."

"Oh, not at all," He replied, getting up from his desk, his eyes traveled down her body, and extended his hand.

Widening her smile she stepped forward and shook his hand, grateful that she had gloves on, so she wouldn't have to decontaminate her hands later.

"We've been hearing wonderful things about the technology that your company is developing, and our clients are very excited about investing," she said, and carefully took out a business card, "Here's my card, in case I forget to give it to you later".

Taking the card, he smiled and attempted to put it in his suit pocket but missed and collapsed on the floor.

Sydney quickly picking up the card from the floor and replaced it into the cardholder that Marshall had made, "Dixon, I'm making a latex copy of his thumb print, get ready to give me the security code".

Turning Nolin's slumped body over, Sydney searched his pocket for the security pass, "the pass number is 325-640-147."

As Dixon retrieved the corresponding code for the security pass, Sydney quickly but cautiously made her way down to the vault.

"Sydney, the code is 1-L-9-1-S, and you're clear for the corner,"

"Thanks Dixon, I'm going radio silent,"

"Copy that."

Turning on the earrings, "this is Mountaineer to Bootcamp."

Sydney's voice came through to CIA base op, where Kendall, Jack Bristow, and Gibbs were all gathered to monitor the mission. Both Kendall and Jack stood behind a seated Gibbs. Kendall had his 'for all occasions' face, with his arms folded in front of him. Jack stood there stiffly and frequently glanced at Gibbs, ready to cast him aside if Sydney got into trouble. And Gibbs was seated in front of the computer monitoring NovaTech's security system and blueprints, trying to ignore the breathing bulls behind him.

"Go ahead Mountaineer," answered Gibbs.

Hearing a voice that wasn't Vaughn's coming through, struck Sydney like a bullet. Her heart clamped up and refused to beat, as she realized that Vaughn was never going to be there to comfort her, tell her non-humorous jokes or just tell her to come back safely.

"Sydney?" her father's voice broke through her thoughts.

Recovering, Sydney answered weakly, "I'm entering the vault"

Taking off her gloves, Sydney slotted the security pass in and entered 1-L-9-1-S, the light turned green and a small hatch opened revealing the finger print pad. Taking out the cardholder, she pressed her thumb onto the latex and lifted out the fake fingerprint, then placed it on the pad.

The system accepted and the vault door slid open. Inside it was brightly lit on all 5 sides, with the disc held in a glass encasing in the centre of the vault. But Sydney, through the glasses she wore, could see that sensor lasers crisscrossed the room.

Knowing that she had less than 4 minutes before the sleaze ball woke up; she took off all her clothes, revealing a tight black body suit underneath, with a hood, which she pulled over her head.

Holding her breath, Sydney lifting her foot carefully avoiding the first laser beam and stepped inside.

Everyone at base ops was told, unceremoniously by Jack, to shut up, as the three men waited with battered breath, not making any noise that might distract Sydney, as she painstakingly maneuvered her body through the laser maze.

It felt like the temperature had just spiked a few degrees higher, as Gibbs wiped his hands on his pants several times to dry them, and continued to listen closely.

Sydney was also feeling the heat, and the bodysuit wasn't making it any easier. When she finally reached the glass there little more than a minute for her to get the disc and get out undetected. Working quickly, she used Marshall's pink highlighter and drew a circle on the glass. The ink burned into the glass, slowly eating it away. Sydney placed the lid back onto the highlighter, but missed! The miss caused the tip of the highlighter to touch her skin.

A sheering pain went up her hand, causing Sydney to drop the lid. Panic engulfed her, as she tried desperately to catch it, but it was too late. She watched in slow motion as the lid hit the floor with a clank and bounce across the red laser beam.

Sydney flung her hands over her ears, as the siren shrilled deafeningly; and saw that a gas had been pumped into the glass encasing and the disc was dissolving rapidly.

"What the hell happened?!" Jack yelled at Gibbs, as they all heard the siren go off.

"She triggered the alarm..." Came Gibbs' response as he frantically typed on the keyboard.

"_Well,_ _do something!_" thundered Jack, wanting to snap Gibbs' neck for his uselessness.

"I can't! The alarm for the vault is independent from the main security system. I can't shut it down from here!" Gibbs hastily replied, with his full concentration on the computer screen and his fingers racing across the keyboard.

"Can you get her out?" asked Kendall, uncrossing his arms and moved closer to the screen.

Ignoring the question, Gibbs continued to type and said into the headpiece, "Bristow, get out of there, it's a compressed vacuum vault, you have to get out of there now! And tell Dixon that you've got the disc..."

But there was no answer...

"Sydney?"

Silence...

"Sydney, did you copy that?"

TBC...........................as soon as I finish my damn essays and assignments. ArGH!

**A/N.** hope you liked it, and it wasn't too mopey or melodramatic... she just lost Vaughn...but I don't enjoy writing sad Sydney cause it means I feel crappy as well.

Who's this Vaughn that everyone's talking about? lol. Okay, it seems that there are a lot of S/V shippers here (what gave me that idea?.....I feel like I'll be stoned if I didn't write more about Vaughn). So here's my answer:

S/Sark?........doesn't fit with the story right at this point, and haven't seen S3, so don't really know what his motivations are.S/Will?.........friendship seems to fit better than romance, it keeps the story interesting.S/Gibbs?.........it's too early to tell, they both have issues so..... S/V?..........love wouldn't be so sweet if there's no pain to compare it to.

time will tell.

I don't know what ship this story will be. This is my first fic so I'm trying to set things up, and discover the characters as I go along. I also want to keep the readers (if they keep reading) guessing. I haven't decided on whether Vaughn is really dead or not, but this is fiction afterall - anything can happen.

So if there's enough persuasion wink wink, then I'll see what I can do....and for now Vaughn will appear in flashbacks or mentioned in the storyline.

Last thing - there's a hidden "code" within the above story so brownie points if you can find it. If this idea works out then there'll be better ones to find next time.

Thank you for reading, and please review.


	3. hourglass chp3

**A/N**: here's chapter 3, and Mel you're one rockin' blond chick!!! Thanks so much for being my beta. Everyone has to go and check out her stories (pen name: sweetsouthernbell07) if you haven't already done so. I promise you'll be blown away. Now on with the story...

....................................................

Even though Jack knew Sydney was more than capable of taking care herself and do her job, he couldn't help worrying. She was not just an agent on another mission; she was his precious little girl, even if he couldn't claim to be much of a father to her.

But they were blind and deaf to Sydney's situation, and could only sit and wait.

.......................................................

The siren continued to blare and the vault went into lockdown – all the lights inside were suddenly turned off and the door started to close shut, quickly reducing the light source from the outside.

Sydney had no time to worry about the lost disc, as she dived across the vault towards the closing gap, her feet just making through before the door sealed shut.

"Dixon, I've triggered the alarm, I need an exit point now!" she said, urgently collecting her things and raced to hide from security that were approaching from the corner of the hallway. "I'm on level 47."

"Sydney, head to the eastside of the building, there's a window cleaning platform hanging outside just a level down, I'm moving the van now."

Sprinting towards the eastside, Sydney could hear shouts not far behind, but glancing back security had not caught up with her. She quickly ducked through a door to her right just as the security team caught a glimpse of her and fired a few shoots, shattering a light on the wall.

The large room that she entered was filled with rows and rows of computer servers, but was empty of personnel. Sydney grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it with her to the glass wall on the other side. She had made it to the eastside, checking where the platform was; Sydney took a step back, lifted the chair and swung it as hard as she could against the glass. It shattered but remained intact, only breaking apart after another blow, a powerful wind gushed out through broken window causing paper to fly everywhere.

The wind was howling outside, as Sydney judged her jump, held her breath and leapt out the window, landing heavily, causing the platform to swing wildly and the window cleaner hold onto the railing in shock.

The bewildered window cleaner, figuring that he had a better chance of surviving closer to the ground, frantically pressed the down button, lowering both of them down. By the time security looked out the broken window, Sydney was already half way down.

"Mountaineer to Base Ops, I didn't get the disc, over." said Sydney before she reached the ground where Dixon's van had just screeched to a halt.

"Tell Dixon you got it, call 911 on the cell phone we gave you and the HourGlass program will be downloaded onto the disc that is already in there, the data will be corrupted so you can hand it to SD-6." Sydney heard Gibbs reply in a steady voice as she jumped into the van.

"Are you okay?" asked Dixon as they drove off.

"Yeah, but it was more than just a level down, and I got the disc," said Sydney, leaning back into her seat and breathed a sigh of relief before she took out the cell phone.

"Good work."

...............................................

Blocking Gibbs from exiting the Rotunda, "Don't you dare use my daughter like that again!" Jack threatened.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were going to get the program whether she retrieved the disc or not. If she got it, great. But if she failed, you'd get the chance to play hero, rescuing her from failing the mission."

Moving closer, "Did you think that she would be impressed by your quick thinking? Or maybe that she would be indebted to you in someway?" asked Jack, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Coming from a man who knows all about using his daughter, I guess you caught me out Jack," Gibbs replied.

................................................

Gibbs had called a meeting as soon as she got back.

"SD-6 is still analyzing the disc. How did you get the program?"

"I told you before that if the disc was destroyed the data would be transferred to NovaTech's other facilities, so as a precaution, I placed a program into their network that would retrieve any transferred material. As they say - always be prepared"

.....................

"_So I heard you on the phone with Base Ops. Your code name is Boy Scout?" _she had queried

"_Yeah," _Vaughn had admitted with a smile.

"_Why?"_

"_Um, it goes back to CST – clandestine service training. You don't wanna hear this." _

"_Vaughn!" _she had insisted.

Vaughn began to explain _"OK. The Boy Scou'st have a motto..."_

"_Always be prepared" _She had interjected.

"_Well, on my first day I showed up and I'd forgotten my field manual. So the instructor said – that is your one screw up, from then on you'd better be prepared"_

.....................

"Good thinking. Thanks," Sydney said quietly, remembering her first date with Vaughn in Nice.

"I was just doing my job, which is more than what I can say for you"

"What's that suppose to mean?" she asked defensively, surprised by his remark.

"It means exactly as it's suppose to mean. There's a lot at risk here, you have no room for error or distractions. The most immediate risk is Sark exposing you as a double agent."

"Sark can't expose me without exposing himself, and there are no distractions," answered Sydney pointedly, crossing her arms.

"Have you been to see Barnett yet?"

"No, and I don't intend to either."

"I wouldn't suggest you to. Barnett is Kendall's extendable ears. Now I need you to know something,

I'll not be there for you as a shoulder to cry on like Vaughn was. Or be Jack and get you out of tight situations. In fact, I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night because you somehow screwed up an operation," Gibbs flatly stated. "Vaughn was a good agent. That was before he met you, before he started doing things to get you into his bed..."

_Slap!_ She hit him hard across the face. "Don't you ever talk about Vaughn! You know absolutely _nothing_ about him." Sydney said through gritted teeth, blinking back the tears, and straining to control her overwhelming emotions. "He was more than you could ever wish to be."

Gibbs stood stock still, with a blank expression. Adjusting his glasses and said, "You can hate me as much as you like, I'm not here to win a popularity contest. But there's a marble wall back at Langley with stars carved in it, a memorial to the agents killed in action. Don't become one of those stars..."

"...at least do _that_ for him," finished Gibbs, leaving Sydney alone in the warehouse, sobbing openly.

..............................................

First, it burned as it went down, but the ache was still there...

.....................

"_This watch belonged to my father, it's broken now but it use to keep perfect time. And when he gave it to me he said - you can set your heart by this watch."_

"_It stopped October 1st... the day we met."_

.....................

Second, followed the first...

.....................

"_Sorry that I called you on the weekend"_

"_You don't ever have to apologies for calling, speaking of which I got you something"_

"_What? No, you didn't."_

"_I don't know, I was just in this store, this little antique place..."_

"_What were you doing in an antique store?"_

"_I don't know, whatever. Look, if you don't like it... just don't tell me"_

....................

Third, there's not even a picture...

....................

"_You know any jokes? Cos I could use one"_

"_This grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says: Hey, we have a drink named after you And the grasshopper says..."_

"_You have a drink named Doug?"_

"_Well I was gonna use 'Phil'" _

"_Phil is certainly no funnier than Doug"_

"_I know, I'm sorry. It was a non humorous..."_

..................

Doug and Phil come join...

.....................

"_How did you find me?"_

"_You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel you need to disappear you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed Then I remembered you said the pier calmed you down. But you weren't there, and you weren't at the bluffs either."_

"_You didn't go to all those places?"_

"_I did."_

"_And then I remembered you liked the train station too. Normal people go to their normal jobs"._

...................

Where should I look?...Just tell me...how do I find you?

....................

"_I'm going to say something, and it'll either be obvious to you or seem presumptuous, either way, I've gotta say it. This isn't working."_

"_I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know what the hell to do."_

"_What?"_

"_I think you know what."_

"_I need you to tell me."_

"_You need me to tell you what? That when you're on operations, I can't sleep at night. That when we're in debrief, I have to force myself to remember what the hell we're supposed to be reviewing, when all I want to do is kiss you?"_

...................

Chocolate... chocolate kisses...

.......................

"_I called because I need a partner for this op. Someone I can trust."_

"_You in?"_

"_Yeah. I'll break into the Vatican with you"_

...................

Salty.....blur.......where are the windscreen wipers?

....................

"_I feel like I'm losing my mind. Like I don't even know who I am any more, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it."_

_Pip Pip Pip._

"_You just threw your beeper in the Pacific."_

"_I know."_

"_Okay, listen to me. There's something you need to know. When you first walked into my office, with that stupid, bozo hair... I thought you were crazy. I actually thought you might be a crazy person. But I watched you and I read your statement. And I've seen how you think. I've seen how you work. I've seen who **you** are. In this job, you see darkness, the worst in people and though the jobs are different and the missions change and the enemies have a thousand names. The crucial thing...the real responsibility you have is to not let your rage, resentment and your disgust darken you. When you're at your absolute lowest, your most depressed, just remember that you can always... You know? You've got my number."_

..................

Why aren't you picking up?

..............................................

TBC

So did I miss any magical moments between s/v? hope not, cause I went and re-watched practically all of s1 and 2 to get the dialogue.

**Megan: **yes, that's the hidden code. Great attention to detail – I see spy potential here.

Thanks for reading, please leave a review.


	4. oasis chp1

Thanks again Mel.

............................................................................................................

Oasis Chp1

The echo pounded from side to side, in search of an opening to escape. It would fade and then reappear soon after, louder and bigger, hammering insistently all around.

Sydney slowly opened her eyes, but tightly shut them again, blocking out the burning light. Her mouth felt dry and her head felt like a bowling ball balancing on a toothpick.

She opened her eyes again, causing a sharp sting to shoot through them. Painfully blinking away the blur, she found herself sprawled on the kitchen floor, surrounded by evidence of last night, in case she needed to be reminded of exactly how much tequila she had consumed.

But from the puddle of melted ice-cream spilt on the floor, it was obvious that ice-cream wasn't the cause of the wave of nausea that suddenly washed over her. She quickly grabbed the kitchen bench and pulled herself up, but it came out right there, into kitchen sink, before she even had a chance to run to the bathroom.

Feeling a bit better, Sydney leaned on the kitchen bench to steady herself against the swaying room. She hadn't woken up like this since that one time in her freshman year.

This was at least better than the numbness.

...............................................

Her headache was still there and the eye drops had helped reduce the puffiness, so overall, she felt close to normal. Plus, attending a meeting at an underground branch of an international organized crime syndicate, where you're undercover as a double agent, is always a good reason to sober up quickly.

"Sydney," greeted Sark, hands in his pockets and was wearing a smirk on his face, as she made her way to her workspace.

Giving him not even the slightest acknowledgement, she placed her bag down and took off her jacket.

Undeterred Sark went on, "You seemed to have partied late last night..." and still no response, "Look, I know we haven't exactly started on the right foot, but I..."

Whirling around to face him, "Listen, get this into that large hollow head of yours. You're nothing more than a block in the toilet, something I have to put up with for now, but with the right tools I'll flush you out to where you belong. So don't talk to me. Don't even look at me," she said, making clear her distaste, and walked off to the meeting room.

Sark was left to consider her words with amusement, he had always loved challenges, _'I'm definitely going to enjoy getting to know her better'_, he thought to himself, and followed her to the meeting.

...............................................

"...Dixon and Sydney, you'll be traveling to Egypt in 2 hours, retrieve this bio-weapon and destroy the plant." finished Sloane.

"Sydney can I have a word."

"Are you alright?" asked Sloane.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just busy with school that's all," she lied.

"Well, you already know how I feel about you taking classes, but if it makes you happy, then I'm happy. You're like a daughter to me, so know that I'm always here if you need anything."

These words made her skin crawl with discuss, for she knew that Sloane would not hesitate to kill her, like he did his wife, if he found out she was betraying SD-6. Swallowing these thoughts, she replied, "Thanks, that means a lot to me, but really, I'm fine." Then left, leaving Sloane to his own thoughts.

..........................................................

The warehouse was lowly lit and damp as Sydney came to get her counter-mission. To her surprise, her father was waiting there.

"Where's Gibbs?"

"I took care of him," was his only reply.

'_What was that suppose to mean'_, thought Sydney, but she didn't say anything, thinking that it was best to just be glad that at least one of her problems was gone.

"There'll be no time for you to switch the material, so you're going to have to take two samples instead of one, just don't let Dixon know. And Sydney, be careful."

.............................................................

"Come on Sydney, this whole place is gonna be buried in 5 minutes," coaxed Dixon, as they both ran down the dark corridor, seeking out an exit

But as they took a left turn, Sydney stopped dead in her tracks, and gasped in disbelief, "Vaughn?!"

..........................................................  
TBC

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!


	5. oasis chp2

**A/N **Thank you so much for the reviews, they make me all happy inside and kicks my muse into action. As always a big hug and thanks to my beta Melanie. Here's the next chap, hope you enjoy.

.................................................................................

Oh God! Sydney felt like she was going to be sick as she saw Vaughn's still form, through the small glass window in the door. Sirens had now started blaring, waking the facility up to its intruders.  
  
"Sydney! What are you doing?" Dixon yelled, fighting to be heard over the sirens, as he saw Sydney blast at a door with her gun and kick it down with all her force.  
  
Oh please no. Please let him be alive... Sydney prayed as she stepped over the fallen door, the dread clutching her heart, tighter and tighter with each step forward. The room was a medical theatre, white and sterile. He laid there motionless, strapped down on the operating table, just like how she had found him in France. Only this time, a long bloody scar ran down the middle of his exposed torso.  
  
As the commotion around her faded into a faint echo, "Vaughn! Oh God Vaughn no!- I - don't leave me, please" Sydney cried, standing beside his restrained body, clutching his icy hands in between her own. He looked so pale and thin.  
  
"I'm going to get you out, okay? You're going to be fine," she said reassuringly, stroking his face. "I promise."  
  
Sydney quickly undid the restraint on his right wrist, but as she leaned over, careful not to hurt him further, to undo the other side, she heard a coarse whisper "Don't." Snatching her hands back in shock, Sydney found herself staring into his green terrified eyes.  
  
"Syd?" Vaughn choked between laboured breaths.  
  
"Hey, I'm getting us outta here." said Sydney, relief flooding her as she continued with the restraints.  
  
"No, I can't," he whispered, "No. Go- before they find you. Leave me."  
  
"No! I'm not leaving without you," Sydney said, refusing to stop freeing him.   
  
Ignoring the physical agony, Vaughn used all his strength left and grabbed her hand "Please Syd, go. I - I love you...and if you love me... go". As these words left his lips, relief and joy washed over him, he had finally said what had been in his heart for so long. But at the same time, his heart was breaking. He had found his soul mate, but the only way to save her was to let her go.  
  
"Vaughn! No!!! I can't! I'm not leaving you, I love you," she said, choking back the tears.  
  
"I'm your guardian angel, remember? I'll find you. Go..." Vaughn said softly, smiling, her image forever with him. His hands slowly releasing hers.  
  
"Nooo....!" Sydney heard herself crying out, as she felt powerful hands pulling her away.  
........................................................

TBC.

Please don't think that I don't keep your reviews in mind when I write, because I DO! I love getting ur views and comments so don't forget to review. I apologise for the sadness in these past few chp, it'll lighten up soon. And nt chp will be longer.

Cheers. Nat


	6. oasis chp3

"Sydney! Sydney! It's alright, wake up, you were just dreaming," came Francie's voice.

Bolting up, Sydney found herself in her bedroom, tangled between her blankets, her forehead soaked with sweat, and her heart racing. "Hey," said Francie, embracing her friend. "Are you okay?"

"Um...yeah, I've got a major headache though," Sydney replied slowly, her mind still on her dream.

"Well that's not surprising, considering we found you on the couch last night surrounded by what looked like an aftermath of a new year's party," said Will, standing at the door smiling, and wondering what had made her take his advice of drowning her sorrows. "You drank this place dry."

"We heard you yelling, so we came in to check on ya," said Francie, "and who's Vaughn? You kept yelling this name out."

"Francie, stop bombarding her with questions. Come on, let's give her some time to clean up," Will said quickly, changing the subject.

"I'm not bombarding her with questions, I'm just concerned," Francie replied defensively. "Okay fine, just hurry, we're taking you out and putting that smile back on you face, which I haven't seen there lately." Francie added cheerfully, going out of the room, taking Will with her.

Reluctantly getting up, Sydney got herself ready for another day, Vaughn's words from her dream lingering on in her thoughts.

....................................................

"Guys! Bowling?" asked Sydney, not knowing how her friends had convinced her to go out with them.

"What's wrong with bowling?"

"Nothing, it's just that I haven't done it since high school,"

"What? Serious? Well Francie, I guess we've found something Miss Bristow here isn't good at," said Will cheekily, as all three of them entered the bowling alley.

"I said I haven't done it since high school, I never said I couldn't play, get ready to go _down_ buster!"

And Will indeed went down, badly. Though if you asked him, he would have said it was because of the wrong size shoes they gave him or the young woman in the next lane eyeing his butt each time, making him self conscious.

For Sydney, hanging out with her friends made her feel normal, like she had a regular job, normal worries like everyone else, letting her forget for a while, the craziness and darkness that surrounds her work.

"Thanks," Sydney said smiling.

"Syd, you don't have to say it every five minutes, it's what friends are for" replied Will, glad to see that taking her out got the result they had hoped for. But then added "Next time, thank me by letting me win, or at least loose by less." This got him a playful shove as a response.

Lowering his voice he asked, "What happened to your hand?" indicating at her injured hand.

"Oh, it's nothing"

So, how was your trip? Last night wasn't because of something going wrong was it?"

"No, just someone at work," she replied, refusing to give Gibbs the title of being her handler. Only one person could ever be that.

"It's not Paul Gibbs is it?"

"How did you know?" she asked in surprise.

"Well I got a call from him this morning, telling me that he got my message to Vaughn about information I found regarding Project Christmas, and that he would be my contact now. I'm supposed to meet him at the hospital car park in half an hour." said Will. "What did he do to you?"

Sydney briefly told Will what Gibbs had said to her. Although Will hated to admit it, but what Gibbs said about Vaughn - doing everything he could to get into bed with Sydney, was exactly his own thoughts the first time he had met Vaughn. He knew that what he had felt was jealousy, something he had had to deal with when Sydney was with Danny.

Even though, he has accepted that Sydney would never feel that way towards him, Will still loved her, even if he could only love her from a distance. Right now, her happiness was the most important thing, and he was going to make sure she gets it. But before Will could reassure Sydney, they had to break their conversation as Francie came back and joined them.

"Sorry to bail but I gotta go, I'm late for an appointment, I'll see you guys later," said Will, getting up to go to the hospital, adding privately to Sydney "We'll talk more later, okay?"

"Yeah, see ya at home."

.................................................................

Will had ran out of patience and was about to leave, when a tall, medium built man walked out of the hospital lift, straight towards him. Gibbs without apologizing for his lateness said, "Will right? Um... here's the payment for your work," and handed Will an envelope. "But I'm afraid that it won't be need it anymore, if you give me the information you've gathered so far I'll pass it on to the right department," he said, extending his hand to receive the documents.

Instead of handing over the documents, Will thrust the envelope containing his payment at Gibbs, "You know what you can do with that? Go shove it up your ass." Stepping forward, matching Gibbs' height, Will confronted the arrogant bastard, "The CIA won't recruit me cause I have a criminal record, for a drug habit I never had, but if you upset Sydney again, I'll be happy to introduce you to my fist and give them a real charge to reject me on."

'_Great another one of Sydney's men'_ thought Gibbs, and said "Well, it sounds as if she got it out of her system."

"What?"

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs replied "As you're well aware she's a fine actress, in other words – a trained liar, but as good as she is, her grief would have betrayed her, and Jack would have beaten you to the punch, so to speak. I was just giving her an outlet."

But before Will could respond, Gibbs' beeper went off, checking it he said to Will "I have to go, the documents please?" Will roughly handed him the documents and Gibbs quickly left.

........................................................

"As promised. I told ya a week was all I needed. So, should I go ahead with it?" said a male voice, with a strong accent.

After a long pause, Gibbs asked "Are you absolutely sure, it'll work?"

"Positive, he's perfect for the job"

"I'll call you back"

.......................................................

TBC

A/N thanks again for reading, what do u think? Should I be put in front of a firing squad for taking Vaughn away? Anyway, big thank you to my wonderful beta, Melanie, who took time out of her busy life and manage to correct all my mistakes.

luv24Alias – I'm not hurting Vaughn anymore, and as for syd and vaughn you'll have to wait and see.

Zarah – thanks, I'm glad u like it, if it's plot u're after I hope I can provide one that'll keep u reading.

Sara – thanks, I'm so pleased that u found my ending suspenseful, as for gibbs....i've got plans for him....s/v eventually really does mean eventually but his presence will be 'felt'

I love getting reviews good or bad so please don't forget to review!


	7. blood ties chp 1

Thanks to those who reviewed, sorry it's been awhile since my last update but I've been very busy. The story so far for those who don't remember (like me!):

Vaughn died due to the virus from the Rambaldi ball.

Sydney has a new handler – Paul Gibbs who is cold and uncaring.

She goes on a mission to Vancouver to retrieve the hourglass software, and Gibbs saves her from stuffing it up.

Sydney drowns her sorrows and "flashback" to all sydney/vaughn moments. Though she found vaughn alive in egypt but was only dreaming.

Gibbs makes a mysterious phone call.

* * *

Blood ties

By the time Sydney left SD-6, after getting her next assignment, it was mid-afternoon on a cloudy day. Sydney entered the busy Rotunda, by the usual scenic route and the first thing that caught her attention was the surveillance monitor, showing Agent Gibbs talking to her mother. Even though there was no audio, it was clear that it was a two-way conversation.

For some reason this made her despise him even more than she already did. It wasn't like her mother only talked to her; she had talked with Vaughn, Jack and Kendall. Nevertheless, Sydney felt that Gibbs was robbing her of something that only she had the right to do. As much as Sydney tried to tell herself that their meetings were just a way for her to get intel, in truth, her father had been right, it was also a way for Sydney to gain a mother and daughter bond that she had always wanted when she was growing up.

"Sydney," said Jack, walking over to join her.

"I know," he said, glancing at the monitor, and silently took her aside so that they could talk privately.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm holding up" she replied with a sigh. "but I want someone else, I don't care, anyone else would be better than him."

"Unless there's reason to replace him, Kendall won't do it."

"There's got to be something, because I can't stand him. He's rude, arrogant..."

"I know, that's why I went and pulled his file."

"Did you find anything?"

"No, nothing. For some reason they're classified, even I can't access them,"

"_This was unusual_," thought Sydney, she had never known father to come up empty handed before.

But Jack continued, "However, I did find something from his computer log and phone records. Over the last few months he has downloaded at odd hours, large amounts of medical information from the CIA international database. And most of the calls that he's made in the last few weeks have been to one number."

"Do we know who it belongs to?"

"Not yet, I'm still getting it traced, but what's interesting is that the only call he's received in that time frame was from that number two days ago, lasting less than a minute."

"Do you any idea what the medical data was concerning?"

"No, but I don't think it's a co-incident that Gibbs was downloading medical data around the same time that lab experiments were being done on the virus originating from the Rambaldi device."

"What? You think he has something to do with the virus that killed Vaughn?"

"I don't have enough information to come to any conclusions yet, but I'll be keeping a closer watch on him."

..........................................................................................o

"Guard, I'm done," said Gibbs, and the steel bars lifted up, allowing him to leave.

After passing the last security bars, he was met by a not so happy Sydney.

"What did you talk to my mother about?" she asked heatedly.

"Oh, nothing much. I was just asking her what kind of skin cream she used," he smugly replied, further fuelling her irritation.

"What? Botox letting you down?" she quipped back. "Nothing you do will change the fact that you're a pompous, selfish jerk"

Her unexpected harsh words took him by surprise, but ignoring the insult he said, "Devlin's approved for Will to do research if he passes the Milgram-Reich allegiance test. Here's his SOP and money I didn't get to give him last time." As he said this he took out a yellow envelope and handed it to her.

"and for your information, Kendall was busy so I was asked to go over your mother's immunity agreement with her."

"Oh," Sydney said, slightly embarrassed by her outburst, but not enough to regret that she had said it.

..........................................................................................o

It's been almost two weeks ago that she had come to her mother seeking information about an antidote for Vaughn, and the walk down the hallway seems longer this time round. Her mother must have been expecting her, because she stood close to the glass as Sydney walked up.

"I'm so sorry about Vaughn," Irina said sincerely.

"Me too...but you said yourself that there was no guarantee," Sydney said to her feet.

"Sydney, I wish that I could take away all this pain, get you out of this life that takes away all those that you care about and love."

"If you truly mean what you say, then help me bring down Sloane and Sark."

"Sark?"

"Yes, he and Sloane have formed a partnership, and I've been sent to purchase Uzbekistan's ground-force communications codes from a mercenary named Zoran Sokolov.

..............................................................._stuff from "The passage 1"_

"Absolutely not! I'm not about to release Irina Derevko for 48 hours without just cause," said Kendall, after hearing what Sydney said her mother had requested.

"She won't give a reason why, but so far her intel has been 100 correct. My mother is clearly worried about something else, some unintended consequence that we can't predict," reasoned Sydney.

"The only reason at this moment that I'd let her out would be for her burial. Gibbs? You haven't said anything."

"Well you've made it clear what your decision is already, so my opinion is irrelevant"

"I'd like to hear it anyway."

"It's not like Derevko is going anywhere soon, and letting her go might alert Sloane and Sark, so I think we should act if and when her fears materialise."

"and what if by then it's too late to act?" Sydney challenged, frustrated by the lack of support by all of them.

"Agent Bristow, unless your mother offer us a reason, you are to proceed as planned. Is that clear?" ordered Kendall, and left followed by Jack. Leaving Sydney alone with Gibbs.

"Just dead drop the communication codes you get from Uzbekistan when you get back." Gibbs said quickly and left as well.

"Fine" she said unenthusiastically and turned to go pack for her trip.

But a familiar voice called out, "Hey Syd!"

"Weiss?! I thought you weren't released for another week."

"Yeah, but fish pellets were starting to look tastier than what they were feeding me, so I left" he joked. "Come here," he said and gave her a big bear hug.

"Sorry I couldn't visit..." she started to apologise, but he just waved the apology off as unnecessary.

"I got your plant though, and surprisingly it's still alive."

After a long pause, Weiss broke the silence and said, "I miss him too," and she responded with a slight nod.

Changing the subject he said, "so I spoke to Paulie before and you're going to Uzbekistan?"

"Yeah in two hours. You know Gibbs?"

"Yeah. Me, him and Vaughn use to hang out when we were at the training farm. We were known as the Tripods..."

........................................................................................................o

Standing at his desk Gibbs took out his cell phone and dialled a number, when someone picked up he said, "I've got the money, meet me there in an hour" and hung up. He then logged onto his computer and was immediately alerted that his records had been accessed. Staring at the screen for another second he turned it off, grabbed his jacket and headed for the parking lot.

"Sir, here's the result for the phone traced you requested" said the technician handing Jack the piece of paper. Taking a glance at it, Jack, without a word quickly followed Gibbs as he left.

As Gibbs drove off, Jack tailed him, staying a safe distance back but maintaining a visual on the black sedan.

.......................................................................................................o

"...we lost touch with him after getting field rated, I think he was sent off to Europe."

"are you sure you haven't mixed him up with someone else?" she asked, because the person Weiss had described was the total opposite of Gibbs, and in the week that she had worked with him he had never indicated that he knew Vaughn.

"No that's him, he just needs to pull that cactus out of his butt," joked Weiss, and then added, "did you know that he hacked into the CIA computer network and left his address and phone number so that he could be recruited?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, the guy's like a computer genius, he even helped design the security software before he became a field agent."

"What, you mean the security system we have now?" Sydney asked, as it dawned on her why her father hadn't been able to access Gibbs' file.

"I think so, why?"

"I've got to call my dad," Sydney said pulling out her phone.

.....................................................................................................................o

Jack had been trailing Gibbs for almost half an hour, without any signs that he was nearing his destination. They had left the freeway behind, and were now travelling through an abandoned industrial area, making it harder for Jack to follow him without being detected.

Jack's phone rang, without taking his eyes off the road he answered it.

"Dad, where are you?" Sydney asked.

"I'm following Gibbs, the person he was calling is a surgeon, wanted by the FBI for malpractice, un-...hang on I've lost him..."

"Dad, listen to me. He designed the security system, that's why you couldn't access his files, so he probably knows that you've download his record...dad?" she said frantically, but the line went dead.

..............................................o

Jack could no longer see Gibbs' car, slowing down he looked from side to side but only empty warehouses stared back at him. Jack decided to take a left turn into a lane way in between two of the warehouses. He stopped suddenly, because standing 10 meters away was Gibbs, casually leaning against the back of his car and waiting.

Jack, taking off the safety lock on his pistol, placed it in his cloak pocket and stepped out of the car, closing the door quietly, and then walked calmly towards Gibbs.

"Jack, I see you're packing heat," Gibbs said in a steady voice, eyeing Jack's hand in his cloak pocket.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, as they stood face to face.

"I know what I'm doing here, the question is why are you following me?" without letting Jack respond Gibbs went on, "did you know that you can tell more about a man from his garbage can than from his CIA records?"

"Really? I'll keep that in mind next time."

"there's not going to _be_ a next time Jack."

* * *

TBC.

Thanks for reading, and I love to get feedback since they're very encouraging and helpful.


End file.
